I want to share something to you.
Something that I have wanted to become for years now.
A Derby Girl
Please note the date on the above picture. November 13, 2008. This has been posted on my wall next to my computer monitor for nearly 3 years now. I had been going to watch roller derby even beyond the date of that e-mail, when the only team was the Salt City Derby Girls, and the 4 teams that made it up. We first began to watch them at the Olympic Oval. Addie and I were devoted to 'Leave it to Cleavers', while the boys were all about the 'Bomber Babes'. If you have never been to see a match, let me tell you, it will make you a fan. There is something special about it, something that makes you want to strap on skates and wear hot pants and fishnets.
I bought skates, I went around my house in circles like a clumsy fool, but I did it anyways. I never had the confidence to go out in public to practice. So my desire to do it was added to my 'weight loss bucket list'. This self-esteem issue I have will always be such a god damn inner battle. There is no reason that I couldn't get out there and make my dreams come true at any size, but that is what happened. Just like everything else in my life, I 'dreamed' of being something, rather that going after what I wanted.
The closest thing I ever became to a Derby Girl was at Halloween.
(really....I just wanted to post Gabe in his Dangle costume.....
anything to see my man in uniform. grrrrrrr.)